June 10, 2025
Successful Gender Communication


A male client said he did not understand why and how active listening improves communication with his wife. My assertion that it has proven to work for scores of years did not satisfy him or help him to manage that skill.
First there must be a recognition of the fact that men and women are brain-wired differently.
Words, actions, and visual clues activate neurotransmitters which are messengers which carry signals across a synapse inducing an emotional or physical response by a particular hormone that is activated.

Gender reactions such as male's testosterone hormones are activated by the sight of a beautiful women.

Women's happy serotonin hormones are activated by a soft tone, interest in her feelings and acknowledgment of them.
Other emotions from contentment to love activate happy hormones ,such as: dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin.
Rage Aggression = testosterone
Sadness/depression = low levels of serotonin

Abandonment or abuse issues activates neurotransmitters and hormones of cortisol an adrenaline and depleted oxytocin.

Women feel abandoned when men do not acknowledge their feelings and therefore have depleted oxytocin which shows itself avoidance, resentment, and depression.
Men’s flight reaction activates women's abandonment reaction which women feel as abuse.

The stress of losing the love activates neurotransmitters that increase the stress hormones cortisol catecholamines.

Men's reaction to women's emotions activate his flight/fight hormones. Males relate to factual accounts that do not damage their self esteem.

For this reason, women need a communication factual style that does not alarm the male. She needs to remember to state his specific behavior or words that upset her, state her feelings without recriminations, opinions or judgements, and lastly she needs to state the effect that it has on her ego, or/and the relationship or other (such as effect on children, or money issues).